Ghosts of weekend past

The dust has settled.
“Blake” is home with his family.
We’re back to our routine and now have time to take a breath and reflect on the rollercoaster ride of the weekend with “Blake”.
Mostly, I am just left with a pile of unanswered questions.

Did we do something really different that caused the outburst?
What triggered the outburst?
Did “Blake” have an access visit during the week that upset him that we don’t know about?
Did we let him cry/scream for too long before stepping in?
Did we not let him cry/scream enough before stepping in?
How long should we leave him before stepping in?
Was he truly distressed or just putting it on?
How do we as respite carers learn to tell the difference between distressed and attention seeking?
How much attention seeking is acceptable at bedtime?
What is the big deal with having a bath?
Does he not like going to bed here as he is all alone? He’s from a big family, so respite on his own would be difficult.
Does he normally sleep with a teddy bear that he doesn’t bring, but should?
Is he self sabotaging his treat to go out for lunch the next day?
Are we doing something wrong?
If so, what?
Is there something going on for him that hasn’t been passed on to us because we are ‘just’ respite carers?
Is this just par for the course? Two steps forward, one step backward.

Other than our 2.5 hour bed time saga, the rest of the weekend was nice. He was well behaved all day Saturday. He entertained himself a lot of Sunday, and didn’t complain when he didn’t get his going out for lunch treat. He was organised and ready on time to go home.

All in all, we had a good weekend, but it’s so easy to focus on the negative rather than all the positives.


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