What made you decide to foster?

I have tried to write this blog several times and it gets deleted and put on the back shelf. Re-written only to be deleted time after time.

Today is the day.

I’m not going to go into a long medical history story, it still makes me sad.

So, the short version is:

I can’t have children.

Simple as that.

Adoption is too expensive and time consuming (looking at at least a 5 year process).

Where I live, you have to source your own donor eggs. I asked my sister, she said no.

What about friends you ask?  I had had such a hard time with the egg collection process that I couldn’t ask someone to do that for me. I would hate for them to feel obliged to say yes because they are my friend. They knew the deal, they never offered and I never asked.

So, after my 3rd doctors opinion of “it’s not hopeless BUT….”

I looked at fostering. It was something I’d looked at years earlier, but it was time to revisit it. The brochure that I received said to wait for 12 months after any major life changing event. Marriage, divorce, death of a loved one, finding out you’re unable to have children. I ticked a couple of those boxes so I waited for 12 months. Marked the date in my diary and went on with life.

12 months later,

I started looking again at fostering.

I went to an information evening.

I filled out an application form.

And, the rest is history.




4 thoughts on “What made you decide to foster?

  1. For me…in my 20s doctor said ‘no chance of getting pregnant” basically all “plumbing” is broken. I started doing respite for seriously emotionally disturbed teenagers because there was a need and infants scare the crud out of me (no not joking). A family I knew lost their kids into care so I applied to get them since I had known the kids since birth and was already certified and have been doing so for over 15 years.

  2. I started with respite as the ‘easy’ option. Just get into it gradually. Little did I know, the kids generally needing respite are the really challenging ones. But, we’re loving it. So far this year we’ve had kiddies 27 weekends. Not bad seeing as we’re only halfway through August. We make sure to take weekends off so we have time to recharge ourselves as well

  3. My wife and I found that it would be very slim that we would have our own children. We jumped into foster care. We were able to adopt all of our placements. While living in Illinois we created a support group for foster/adoptive parents because we discovered that kids from hard places have unique issues and hurts that we were not taught how to cope with at home. Some of the issues can be rough and tax a family. However, through the whole process I will say that there is nothing like seeing a child’s life change for the better (even if it’s a small improvement).

    • How fantastic that you set up a support group. We are blessed we were trained on issues we would deal with and how to cope with them and our agency has a support group for carers and a separate group for emergency carers and respite carers as they recognise that those carers face different challenges to long term carers. We are given ongoing training and support so we don’t feel we need a separate group. Recently we found ‘porn’ on a respite child’s tablet device and when we reported it to our agency they dealt with the child’s social worker and sent us more information on dealing with this issue.
      It’s both awesome that you’ve set up this support group but also a bit sad that there was a need for it.

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