What do your foster babies call you?
Mum and Dad?
By your first names?
We have always had our respite kids and emergency babies call us by our first names as we know that they are only going to be here for a short time, but, baby “Jade” is different. We know she will be here for longer than we’ve had a placement before, and because I’ve never had any of my own babies, and she wont remember anyway, we are mum and dad to this little lady.
That said, I do make sure that in front of tummy mummy I call myself Cee Jay, and call her Mummy.
So you could have knocked me down with a feather when I collected “Jade” from access. She was a little bit unsettled when I arrived so tummy mummy said “Why don’t you go to your other mummy and see if she can settle you”.
I was speechless.
In our training we’re told that we very rarely will meet with the birth parents of children in our care, and here is one, right in front of me acknowledging me as her daughters other mother.
My reply was to tell baby “Jade” how lucky she is to have 2 ladies that love her to bits, while trying to hold back the tears.
What else could I say?
So awesome to have tummy mummy refer to me as the other mother, but at the same time it broke my heart that this lady, who clearly loves her little girl, has had to accept that another woman is also mum to her precious little baby.
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for her, but she has also said that it eases her mind to see how much I love her baby. It eases my mind to know that mum seems happy for me to be loving her daughter while she isn’t able to.
So many emotions in this journey, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.