You can say No

What’s the best opening line from your agency?

That has to be mine.

I had that call yesterday and now we have another young lady here with us.

Actually we had many calls yesterday.

It began with “Hi, you can say no, but I just thought I’d ask if….”

The first was to explain there is a family of 3 that needed a placement at which point my brain went into overdrive. Yes we’re registered for 3, but baby would make 4 and “Kelly” is due on the weekend and that would make 5, and that’s a LOT more than our registered 3.

I was reassured we were only being asked to help with taking one, so, of course, that’s a yes from me, so the next question, which one do we want. Seriously, I got to pick. With 3 to choose from I had to choose who I thought would fit best into the house taking “Jade and Kelly” into account.

The 5 year old wouldn’t really work, 2 car seats we can do, but I don’t think “Kelly” would fit in the car in between them.

The 11 year old wouldn’t work, too close in age to “Kelly” so I didn’t want to deal with any potential pecking order problems on the weekend.

So that left the 8 year old as being just right. Too big for a car seat, but small enough to not be a threat to “Kelly”.

Then we were told that another family had offered to have the 2 older children, could we take the little one and as terrible as it sounds I said no, it just wouldn’t work in my car. So, I was told thank you but they probably wouldn’t need us at this stage.

Next it was, the other people would take the eldest and youngest and could we take the middle child after all.

Then we got the, actually they are going to try to keep them all together in residential care rather than splitting them up, but again, thank you.

So in all of this, I’ve rung MM to see that yes he’s ok with taking in a munchkin and then I haven’t kept him updated with all the changes. We know that this happens, so I waited until the call that says they were going to put them together. And then…….

10 minutes later the phone rings, and I answer with “I’m just going to call  you troublemaker from now on” as I knew it was the lady from the agency, and guess what….There were no residential care placements available that could have all the children together, so could we please?

So this weekend we will have “Jade” (11 weeks old, short term placement) “Kelly” (12 years, ongoing respite placement) and now “Kylie ” (8 years old, emergency placement)

And almost all of the calls start with, “you can say no” because for one reason or other we probably should have.

“Jade” was a 9 day respite that changed, and because of work we could have said no when requested to keep her, but, seriously…how could we?

“Kelly” was a one off respite that became monthly and is now fortnightly and at any point in there when things changed, again we could have said, no, no to monthly or no to fortnightly.

“Kylie ” we could have said no to because we already had “Jade” and with “Kelly” due for the weekend, that would mean 3 kiddies, but, again…how could we?

How do you say no?

How often do you say no?


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