Am I ungrateful?

Should I just say thank you and move forward?

Tummy Mummy and the birth family of baby “Jade” spoiled her for Christmas….Fantastic. That’s as it should be.

Some of the things that came home with bubby include a pile of brand new clothes and 3 tins of formula.

I appreciate the effort, but, the formula she bought makes baby constipated and more reflux. I’ve told TM (Tummy Mummy) that before and she was buying the right formula for a while but now she’s sent home 3 tins of the wrong formula. What do I do about that? I now have almost $ 100 worth of the wrong formula.

There are some lovely baby clothes for “Jade” but some are in a size she out grew weeks ago. I mentioned to TM about a month ago that by Christmas “Jade” wouldn’t fit her 000 anymore as a bit of a hint, but no, we still got some. There’s also lots of 00 which is her current size but, we’ve already got a gazillion clothes in this size for her, so we really need 0 and 1 size clothes for baby so that she’ll be set for her next growth spurt.

I know TM has tried, and I do appreciate that she’s done the right thing, but, if I keep the 00 clothes, she wont get to wear much of it, or may only just once. Would it be wrong to exchange the clothes for size 0 and 1? That way she can grow into them and when bubby is reunified with Mum she will have a nice selection of clothes to go with her.

Part of me wants to keep the clothes because it’s the thought that counts, but the practical side of me says baby clothes aren’t cheap and it would be better for us to get larger clothes seeing as we already have enough in her current size.

I feel ungrateful when TM is clearly trying but the reality is I am the one that will have a to look after a crying constipated baby and it seems such  waste to have more clothes than baby can wear in one size.

So conflicted.


9 thoughts on “Ungrateful?

  1. I would for sure exchange the clothes and just explain why…and in regards to the formula…maybe she forgot? I would gently remind her again the next time you have a chance.

    • There is a chance we can do that and I can get the social workers to help explain to mum as well. The formula is a different issue. I’m not sure if I can exchange that. I’m going to make a call to a parenting helpline and see if I can mix it with the formula that is ok for bubs.

  2. Oh I wouldn’t hesitate to exchange the clothes and the formula, if they will swap them for you. I would like to think that she would rather give the little one things that she needs or can use. It seems a little thoughtless that she sent the wrong formula. A gentle reminder there might help.

    She must have been able to see that the clothing was about to be too small. It is a shame that she didn’t pay attention to your hints.
    I’m so happy for Jade, that she has such a wonderful caregiver in you.

    • I have news on the formula. I called a parenting helpline and the nurse I spoke with said I can mix the formula with the formula that is ok for her to gradually use it up. 2 scoops of the good formula and 1 of the other one. That will help.

  3. Next time she stays with tummy mom, will she have outgrown the 00? Maybe she never has to know you exchanged them. (Unless you have to return all things they buy for her to them?)

    • She will have outgrown all the 00 by the time she stays with mum again. She’s almost outgrown them now.
      I’ve suggested if she’s happy to pay the baby clothes forward, I’d like to hang onto them for the next baby we care for and give her a pile of new clothes for baby to wear when she goes home.
      I’ve put aside a couple of the special clothes TM has bought for her to keep, the first outfit she bought her, and the handmade clothes TMs family and friends have sent for bubs.
      I have now exchanged some of the clothes and kept some. I compromised.

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