Mid-life crisis

What is a mid-life crisis?

Is it when everything you thought you wanted in life comes into question and you start to think about other possibilities? And because you have always been a certain way, that people think you’ve gone crazy because you want to tip your life upside down and shake it up?

If that’s it, I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.

I’ve always loved my work. I am one of those fortunate people that love my job, and I have been in the same job, well, argh…20 years.

Now little miss “Jade” has come along and I either have to put her in child care or do something about my work.

I’m torn.

I love my work and what will I do if/when she’s reunified with TM?
But I love bubs and I don’t want other people raising “my baby” while I’m at work.

If this is how hard it is for me to contemplate being separated from bubs all day, how hard is it on TM? Does the fact that another woman is raising her baby drive her as nuts as it’s driving me thinking about having to go back to work?

I know I don’t want to stop work altogether but I don’t know that I want to do 5 days a week.

I wish I knew how the case was progressing, but honestly I think it’s not. “Jade” has been with us 16 weeks and they haven’t even progressed to unsupervised visits in the office yet.

I am supposed to go back to work in 3 weeks.
I have to decide now.
I have to sort out child care and work.

What am I going to do?

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3 thoughts on “Mid-life crisis

  1. What a hard decision. The way I faced daycare and the dreaded thought of someone else ‘raising’ my son was to step back and see it as a wonderful opportunity for Colt to gain a teeny bit of independence outside of our home. He got to meet and hang out with other tiny ones his age and started the long process of learning how to get on with others in the world. It might be a fun new adventure for little Jade….I know she’s very young yet though. Colt was a year before I could get him calm enough to even be in the room with other people!

    It must be so hard, not knowing how long she will be with you. Is there any way you can take a short leave of absence? Or is that what you’ve got happening now?

    • I’m on holidays at the moment, I did the maths tonight and by working 2.5 days I’m only going to be out of pocket a little bit, which I can make up by taking in a few extra music students at home.
      MM says the maths speaks for itself, so I just need to pluck up the courage to take the jump.
      Jade’s social worker says when she does get reunified there are more children that need us, so I wont be sitting around twiddling my thumbs. She even suggested we look at taking in an older child with Jade. She must be happy with what we’re doing.

  2. Ours wernt to daycare from infancy, and even as a tiny thing, enjoyed it. When we’d keep her home too long, she would start saying, “School? School?” She is now 5.5 and knows so much she probably wouldnt if it weren’t from her years at daycare, and going into kindergarten this year, she will already have some friends!

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