This post was going to be about turning 40 and how I didn’t want to be 40. How 40 was a reminder of the things I wanted when I was 30 and can’t have. But, today that post seems ridiculous, so it’s not about that.
When I turned 30 I was so excited. My husband at the time (ex now) and I were about to start on IVF to start our family. It was an exciting time. Never did I think that the IVF would go so wrong (that’s a story for another day) and that I would never be able to have my own biological children. The future was full of dreams that I thought were soon to be realised. How wrong I was.
Instead my early 30’s provided me with failed IVF, depression, weight gain (still carrying that around), divorce, and a loss of my dreams. My later 30s saw a few changes. The ex and I parted ways and that bought it’s own challenges but seriously, it has been the best thing ever.
You don’t realise how much someone can weigh you down with their negativity until they are gone and you start to get out from under that weight and start getting your positivity back.
I went and got re-tested to see about the baby thing. Ok, that didn’t go well, but at least I knew what went wrong and exactly where I stood so I could move forward.
I became a foster carer.
I met the AMAZING MM and life has been moving (slowly) forward.
Now at 40, I can smile, that even though it’s taken a decade, I have a wonderful man who is so supportive of me in so many ways, I have a beautiful baby girl (for now anyway) and I am now a part time worker and part time stay at home mum.
My dreams are coming true.
Has it taken a bit longer than anticipated? Yes.
Has it happened differently from how I planned? Yes.
Has it been worth the wait? Absolutely yes.