Mother’s Day to be

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I fell sorry for MM.

I have no idea what I’ll be like.

In the past, Mother’s Day has been depressing. Wanting my own children and celebrating my Mum, yet mourning my own inability to be a mother.

This year, we have “Jade” and I am so truly blessed to have that little person in our lives, but the reality is, she probably wont be here forever, despite wanting her to be, so I get the Mother’s Day I’ve longed for, but also know that it might be my only one with “Jade”.

I had a conference today, so MM was on baby duty and they went shopping together. He did ask me last night what I wanted for Mother’s Day, and that, I couldn’t answer, because I just don’t know.

I can’t think of any ‘material’ thing that I would want to mark tomorrow.

A full nights sleep might be nice.
MM to hear the baby during the night and do the 2 am feed.
“Jade’s” social worker to call and say we can keep her.
“:Jade” to come out with Mum-mum (MM spends so much time with her saying Mum-mum over and over. He is determined she will say Mum first, and before she leaves our home.)

Thinking of all the mums on their special day tomorrow.

Thinking of all the women like me who would give anything to have their own baby and the difficult day you have ahead of you.

Thinking of all the husbands who hold our hands and hug us and support us on our bitter sweet day unable to make the hurt go away, and love us and our broken bodies.


3 thoughts on “Mother’s Day to be

    • That’s the thing. It’s painful and amazing that we have “Jade” all at the same time.
      Crazy huh?
      MM will be great tomorrow keeping me focussed on our little blessing and not worrying about what the future might bring. To enjoy the present, because that’s what it is.

  1. You are more of a mother than many women who have given birth. You just spend your mothering love and dedication on children who need it the most. Just sayin. 🙂

    I am so sorry for your sadness though. I hope you have a wonderful day with Jade and you get spoiled with love. You are her mommy now, even if she ends up leaving, you will always be her first real one.

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