“Have a baby” they said

“Have a baby, you’ll make such a great mum” they said.

But what they don’t tell you makes me wonder if it’s part of a conspiracy.

Are all sleep deprived mums banding together to get the next ‘sucker’ with their “you’ll be great line”?

Or have they not experienced the pleasure of counting their hours of sleep on one hand?

Am I the only mum out there with a little one who has suddenly decided that sleep is no longer high on her list of priorities?
The only mum who’s little bubba has decided instead or getting sleepy and being tucked in and falling asleep, to now feel the need to be hugged and cuddled until she’s asleep and even then she will probably wake as soon as you try to put her down so you have to start the whole process again?

Am I the only mum, who sometimes in the middle of the night finds myself crying along with the inconsolable infant in my arms. Feeling helpless.
Feeling useless.
Feeling like maybe I am just not cut out for motherhood?

Am I the only one wondering why people don’t call and say, “Hey baby is 9 months now, the world you were comfortable in is about to get tipped upside down”.

Has no other baby been through this?

Have I done something wrong?

Too many cuddles? Not enough cuddles? Going to her too quickly when she cries? Not getting there quickly enough?

Is it just because she has a cold and needs extra loves?

Is a developmental stage?

Is it me?

So many questions and no answers.

So many views online. Let them cry it out, don’t let them cry it out. Co-sleep, don’t co-sleep.

At the end of the day, all I know is….

I love this little baby to the moon and back, and it causes me pain to hear her crying and then I wonder what am I doing?

Do I regret having this little baby in our home? No.

Am I complaining about being sleep deprived? No.

I just want ‘my’ baby to be happy, to sleep, to know she is loved, to know she is safe and when she’s crying up a storm I just don’t if I am doing that.

It makes me wonder why no other mums tell you about the hard stuff.

Did they not go through it?

Did they forget about it?

Is the love for these precious little people so strong it gives them selective amnesia?


2 thoughts on ““Have a baby” they said

  1. I think, as a mom who had a very unhappy little baby (autistic and undiagnosed mixed with being a brand new, terribly naive parent) your view of who these little babies have become just overshadows all the hard stuff. It doesn’t get any easier as they get older…just more complicated yet also more rewarding somehow.

    Just remember that the start you have given your little angel is one she might have gone entirely without were it not for the size of your and your hubby’s heart. You are giving her a gift no one else ever will be able to: a safe, loved and protected world to grow and learn and connect in and to. It is my secret wish that she never leaves your home, but if she does, in absolutely no time, every difficult moment you guys have faced will turn into a cherished memory. You don’t get to change someone’s circumstances often.

    (I know with all my heart that you’re not complaining in the slightest. There was just something about this post that made me need to share that with you). Xo

    • Thank you Grainne.
      I know that we’re making a difference. I can see when I pick her up at day care that she has really bonded with us, which is the best gift we can give a baby, the ability to form a strong attached relationship.
      I love so many things about being a mum, even the cuddles in the middle of the night when she can’t sleep, but sometimes, it’s so hard to hear that little person so upset.

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