They giveth and they taketh away

The beginning of the end.

Or the beginning of a new beginning.

However you look at it, we have entered the beginning of the transition of our gorgeous “Jade” to her new forever home.

I had a meeting today with the senior practitioner and supervisor about the case, and I was accompanied by our awesome support worker and her equally awesome team leader.

I’m surprised at no point either of them poked me under the table to tell me to shut up.

I’ve been able to express my concerns to the department and have them acknowledge their lack of communication about the progress of the case. Our last communication indicated they were still assessing the new people for the care of “Jade” so when we found out it was all sorted it was such a shock. I would like to think if we had been included in the progress of the case, told that they had been approved, told when it was going to court, told that they had the order, we could have been more prepared and ready to accept the decision.

Had we been kept in the loop, our darling “Jade” could have already transferred out of our care during the school holidays and while that sounds crazy, it means I could have cried my little eyes out all school holidays and been on my way to feeling better when I have to go back to school and put on a happy face.

So later this week I will speak with “Jade’s” new mum and we will sort out visit times so she can come and start getting to know “Jade” and more importantly, for “Jade” to get to know her. And, it’s my job to smile and make “Jade” comfortable while my heart breaks.

Soon we will start the conversations of when do we want another child. Do we want to see if we can get a placement while
“Jade” is transitioning out so when she goes I have another little person to pour my love into, or do we want a break. Our lovely support worker said she will support whatever decision we make. It’s nice to know she has the confidence in MM and I to make the right decision for us.

MM, you truly are an amazing man to put up with all the tears and incomprehensible conversations with me and then when I say, lets get another one, you just say…Sure, when?

So the department gaveth me the most beautiful little baby you could imagine and the department taketh her away.

We hurt, we cry, and we know we will do it all again because we have given this little girl a great start to life and there are more little children out there that need a safe loving home.

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3 thoughts on “They giveth and they taketh away

  1. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I think you and your husband are angels on earth for doing what you do. Thank you, on behalf of all the little ones heart’s you heal. I’m so sorry yours is breaking. xo Much love from me.
    -Grainne

    • Thank you Grainne.
      My mum will say (through her many tears) that this is because I have still too much love to give to just this one little bubba, and we have many more babies (of all different ages) still to care for.

      • I was telling my hubs about this last night and we both cried for you. He was a foster kid too…that’s how we met, actually. We both spent a lot of years wishing for a family like yours. xx You have a ton of emotional support flooding your way from Canada – if nothing else.

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