Today was a big day.
“Jade’s” new mum came for her first visit.
You can only imagine how stressed I have been this week. This morning saw me unable to sit still.
She messaged to say she was on her way, and it turned out perfect timing. It was time for “Jade” to have a nap, so she napped while I waited, and waited and waited some more. An hour has never felt so long.
I should actually clarify. She messaged and said “we are on our way”.
We?? We who?? I was just expecting her. Was she bringing “Jade’s” 3 year old brother? The little man with ants in his pants? How would we get any talking done with him bouncing around the house? How would she bond with “Jade” with him demanding attention? Or was she bringing her hubby? That’s ok, but that’s 2 new people for “Jade” to meet and I was really hoping she would get some quality time with her new mum.
The car pulled up, and there were 3 bodies in the car. New mum, dad and brother….e gads!!!
But, only mum got out. Dad and brother took off. Whew!
She explained that dad and brother were off to go look at big trucks together so she could have one on one time with “Jade”.
I can tell you, I was warming up to her quickly.
We had a coffee and a chat while “Jade” was still napping. We chose dates to get together over the next 2 weeks to transition “Jade”, shared case notes (it isn’t just us that have been kept out of the loop, they hadn’t even been informed that they had passed their assessments) and I gave her information about dealing with the department and gave her some paperwork they wont think to give her, but that she should have.
“Jade” woke up and after a clean nappy (have to seriously question feeding her spaghetti Bolognese, man do those nappies smell!) we went to meet new mummy.
While “Jade” was waking up she just sat on my lap staring at this new person in her home. It wasn’t long and her cheeky smiles started to come out, so NM (New Mum) asked for a cuddle. “Jade” was happy to go for cuddles, so I got her high chair ready and some lunch and got NM to feed her. That was interesting. Almost every mouthful “Jade” would turn and look at me as if to ask ‘Is it ok for me to take food from this lady?’. They got through lunch so we went to play in the next room.
“Jade” is starting to take little steps with help, so she would go from me to NM with us each helping her and cuddles from both of us when she got to us. It was when she started to snuggle into my arms that NM decided it was time to go as she could see she was starting to wear down.
I am feeling more at peace with her moving. I don’t want her to go. But, I feel calmed having met this lady and I can see how much she really does want “Jade”.
I told NM I am starting to pack “Jade’s” things, but explained it’s a slow, emotional process.
Her reply “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.”
What more can I ask for? NM seems to understand that I am not just a carer, but that we love “Jade” and will miss her deeply. Maybe, just maybe there’s a glimmer of hope that we can stay in touch and still be a part of “Jade’s” life