An open letter to an abusive parent

Dear parent,

Why is it that you beat your own child?
Why is it that you think that behaviour is ok?
Why do you not accept responsibility for your actions?
How can you blame the children? They were too noisy. They were too mouthy. They were too messy. They didn’t do their chores. Or any other excuse you have for not taking responsibility for your actions and being the bigger person.

Do you know that the scars you leave on your children go much further than just the bruises on their bodies?

Do you know the emotional and psychological damage you do to them will last long after the bruises are gone and the bones have mended?

If you knew what we know about the trauma you are putting your child through in your ‘punishment’ of them, would you still do it?

I doubt I will ever understand how or why you do this to your own children. I can only guess that you have problems that you need help with, so please get that help. When you see your children looking at you in fear, ask yourself why do they do that? What can you and should you be doing differently.

Parenting can be a tough gig, so ask for help. There is help out there, you just need to ask. If you really can’t cope, place your children in foster care, put them up for adoption. There are people out there who will love them and give them the life they deserve. Give them an opportunity to heal, to be loved, to be all that they can be. Give them an opportunity to know a life without pain and without fear.

Please don’t threaten to send your children to foster care when they misbehave. We are not a punishment for THEIR behaviour, we are here to protect them from YOUR behaviour.

I would love to live in a world where it wasn’t necessary for there to be foster carers. I would love to live in a world where children are safe from harm. Where children are safe from the very people that are supposed to be the ones there to protect them but are instead the people they fear the most.

Please, before you raise your hand to your child, remember you are the adult.  You are supposed to be their protector. You are supposed to love them and guide them through life, not beat them into submission.

Please, before you do something that can’t be mended with plaster casts, or bandages, or years of therapy, get help.
Do it for your children.
They can’t ask you, so I will.
Please get help.






3 thoughts on “An open letter to an abusive parent

    • In many cases yes, I’m sure it was, but if that’s the case, as the now adults, I would dearly love to see them get the help they need to break the cycle so that their own children don’t have to go through the same abuse.

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