My new challenge

Life has thrown a curve ball.

We had made our plans.

MM was going to be home for the weekend and have some daddy daughter time with the girls this weekend as I have rehearsals on both Saturday and Sunday. Then MM got sent interstate for work, and now he won’t be home until the end of my Sunday rehearsal.

So, i have asked my parents to have the girls while i am at rehearsal. I offered to drive the girls there and pick them up Saturday afternoon and repeat the next day. Mum, realises this makes for over 4 hours of driving per day for me and says the girls can stay the night. Bonnie has been asking to for a couple of months now so I have one very excited little girl who bas been asking all afternoon if it’s time to go yet. Last year Mum and Dad had the girls for a night when MM was away and I was working and they stayed the night, with one small exception. I showed up at midnight after the performance and stayed too. I couldn’t help myself.

I’ve offered to go up Saturday night, but, I’ve been told they will be fine and if they aren’t Mum will call me to come and be with them.

So many conflicting emotions.

I’m  happy and excited for the girls. I loved staying at my grandparents house as a child and I know they will love staying with my parents.

I feel like I’m imposing on my parents though.  Is that because the girls aren’t biologically mine? Is it beacuse the girls are now both 2 years old? That has its challenges. Is it because my baby girls are growing up and for the first time in almost 2 years Bonnie is going to spend a night away from me?

I’m going to have the house to myself for a night. A full night of sleep without Tyla waking me up for a cuddle during the night. A night of a quiet bath, no interruptions, going to the toilet on my own, being woken by the alarm clock and not little voices calling for mummy.

A night with no funny little Bonnie stories at dinner, no hugs from the girls at bed time, no Bonnie telling me she will miss me until tomorrow, no Tyla sloppy kisses.

My challenge is to be able to drop the girls off and leave with a smile and not  go back to stay the night.

I miss them already.



One of those days

Today was just one of those days.

The girls decided that again they didnt need an afternoon nap. Yesterday it was because I (foolishly) told them that we were going to visit daddy after their sleep. Like they were going to go to sleep when they could be going to daddy’s work. What was I thinking?!? Today….I have no idea why they didnt nap.

So, it made for a long afternoon with two tired liitle girls.

While I was preparing dinner they were playing quietly and giggling away together, so I was happy listening to them from the other room while peeling the potatoes. I really should have known better. Toddlers playing together, giggling? I really should have run as fast as my legs could go to them to see what they were up to, but the sound of their laughter was so beautiful, I kept on with the veggies.


“Mum….I cant stand up..I all slippery”

Yes…she said slippery.

There was one bag of groceries left in the hallway from when we had been shopping. I thought it was all non-perishable goods and would wait until they were down for their nap to put away. Well, there was a bottle of dishwashing liquid in there. Do you know how far one bottle of dishwashing liquid can spread? Both girls had been happily covering themselves, each other and the floor and really, slippery was an understatement. They couldn’t stand up for all the goo on themselves and the floor.

When i went to get some paper towel to start the clean up, I called MM to tell him what the girls had done. He was on loud speaker as i was cleaning them up. Laughing when I said ” hold still while i unslippery you” to Bonnie. His giggling helped difuse the situation and helped me see the funny side of it a lot sooner.

Once, the gooey clothes were removed and a safe pathway made to the staircase (including getting a splinter as i cleaned up the goo from along the skirting board) I took the girls for a bath to get cleaned up…..before dinner. Sigh.

The girls hate getting OUT of the bath, so by the time i got them out and in their pyjamas, i had burned the potatoes. So, in tears, I call MM who says, call for pizza. But it was now 6pm, and by the time pizza would arrive, it would be almost 7 pm, and with9ut having had a nap, there was no way that was an option. So dinner was chicken and peas, carrots and corn. They didnt seem to mind, but i was feeling like a mummy failure. So, when they had declared they had finished, I offered them yoghurt. Another Sigh.

I was hanging up some washing on the clothes airer  while they had their yoghurt and turned back to see Tyla with yoghurt on the wall, all over her face, her hands were covered in it as she had been finger painting the table with her yoghurt. After cleaning her up, the girls left the table and while i cleaned up that mess Tyla came in to tell me Bonnie had done a poo. Really?! Another mess.

At this point it was just all feeling a bit much and with MM away, as i changed Bonnie’s nappy I had a little cry and gorgeous Bonnie stands up, puts a little hand on each side of my face and says “Don’t be sad mummy.” Then she gave me a hug and said “I miss Daddy too.”

What a beautiful girl. The same words and actions she gets from me when she is sad that MM is away with work and misses Daddy.

Now more tears from mummy, but now because of her beautiful little soul comforting mummy and showing me that while I was feeling like it was a mummy fail day, that one sweet gesture from her let me know, in the things that matter, caring for others and empathy, she is doing so well.

So, at the end of a long day, because of a little 2 year old girl, I can sit here and count my blessings. One MM and two little girls who all love me, even on my mummy fail days.

I am one lucky mummy.