My new challenge

Life has thrown a curve ball.

We had made our plans.

MM was going to be home for the weekend and have some daddy daughter time with the girls this weekend as I have rehearsals on both Saturday and Sunday. Then MM got sent interstate for work, and now he won’t be home until the end of my Sunday rehearsal.

So, i have asked my parents to have the girls while i am at rehearsal. I offered to drive the girls there and pick them up Saturday afternoon and repeat the next day. Mum, realises this makes for over 4 hours of driving per day for me and says the girls can stay the night. Bonnie has been asking to for a couple of months now so I have one very excited little girl who bas been asking all afternoon if it’s time to go yet. Last year Mum and Dad had the girls for a night when MM was away and I was working and they stayed the night, with one small exception. I showed up at midnight after the performance and stayed too. I couldn’t help myself.

I’ve offered to go up Saturday night, but, I’ve been told they will be fine and if they aren’t Mum will call me to come and be with them.

So many conflicting emotions.

I’m  happy and excited for the girls. I loved staying at my grandparents house as a child and I know they will love staying with my parents.

I feel like I’m imposing on my parents though.  Is that because the girls aren’t biologically mine? Is it beacuse the girls are now both 2 years old? That has its challenges. Is it because my baby girls are growing up and for the first time in almost 2 years Bonnie is going to spend a night away from me?

I’m going to have the house to myself for a night. A full night of sleep without Tyla waking me up for a cuddle during the night. A night of a quiet bath, no interruptions, going to the toilet on my own, being woken by the alarm clock and not little voices calling for mummy.

A night with no funny little Bonnie stories at dinner, no hugs from the girls at bed time, no Bonnie telling me she will miss me until tomorrow, no Tyla sloppy kisses.

My challenge is to be able to drop the girls off and leave with a smile and not  go back to stay the night.

I miss them already.



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